Healing is a road full of uncertainty, but the good thing is You have a Father who is inevitable amid uncertainties. You can hold on to that. Take that challenge—face that pain. Deal with whatever you need to deal with. This is for your sanity. Do not be afraid. Remember, you are not alone. God is and will always be with you. Take that control out of your system and give it back to the author of control.
I see the beauty in your teary-eyed.
I see the beauty in your pain.
I see the beauty in your heart.
I see the beauty in every part of you.
The same thing happened with what you wanted to happen—which is bringing this beautiful golden tree with you. I also want that for you; I want you to be with me no matter how many cracks you’ve been through. I will always be with you, gluing every crack within you and loving every tiny part of you”.
That night, I ran to my room. I ask God to give me an express word I can cling to and hold on to. I ask him desperately. I cried so hard and fell on the floor because it was just too painful to bear. There are no words to describe how I felt that night. As I was crying on the floor, I couldn't figure out what was the right word to say. I was frozen. My heart feels like it was stabbed by a sharp knife. I stood up crying (ugly crying). There were no words; I could only hear the sound of pain.