Walking on unfamiliar roads is sometimes wearisome. The darkest roads are the most challenging roads to walk through. You need to know which path to take despite the absence of light.
To you who are reading this, have you ever felt so alone in your journey? I bet you did. I know you have those sleepless nights. You cried so hard, like there was no tomorrow. If I am not mistaken, you also have those tear stains on your pillow, just like me. Or maybe you cannot cry anymore because of suppression and resentment. Even if I do not know your story and have not seen you cry, know that I felt that heaviness, too, and I can connect with you. You are not alone, even if you think you are alone. Hey… Did you know that you are so brave? Yes, you are fearless. You are still here. You’ve endured those terrors of the nights. Panic and anxiety attacks that haunt you for days.
I know that there are moments when you don’t want to wake up from sleep because of the pain. You also wish to sleep forever and never wake up. Because if you wake up, the agony of pain will greet you in the morning, and you are too scared to face it. I know you don’t like to feel that ache. It is so tempting to run away. Numbing yourself in pain will not help you heal the pain. Please do not skip the process. I may not hear your thoughts but know that Your Father hears and sees you. He delights in you. Please continue to fight. Please continue to fight not for others but for yourself at this time. Also, remember that God is carrying you through the battlefield. He is protecting you dearly.
Healing is a road full of uncertainty, but the good thing is You have a Father who is inevitable amid uncertainties.
As you continue to walk forward, do not try to move backwards. You can step your foot forward, one at a time. One step at a time. Friend, there is no rush in healing. Healing is not something you can fast-tract. I wish you had the power to do that, or I have the power to do it, but neither of us has that capacity. There is no such bullet train in the healing journey. You have to accept the pain to feel it. Do not try to run away from the pain. Do you know why you should not run away from your pain? It is because you are going back to where you started running away. You will never get to the finish line if you keep throwing away the hurt that needed to feel. Do not settle in the circle of pain. You are capable of walking through the journey. Healing is not a straight line. Healing is a road full of uncertainty, but the good thing is You have a Father who is inevitable amid uncertainties. You can hold on to that. Take that challenge—face that pain. Deal with whatever you need to deal with. This is for your sanity. Do not be afraid. Remember, you are not alone. God is and will always be with you. Take that control out of your system and give it back to the author of control.
It will not be a picture of weakness and fragility but a picture of a braver and stronger version of yourself.
There is something beautiful at the end of the tunnel. No one wants to feel any pain. I know you do not wish to have that twinge in your heart, but understand that every angst of your heart is necessary for healing. I do not know what level of pain you have at this point, but remember that you will need that one day. As I mentioned earlier, keep moving forward. Walk forward as much as you can so that one day, when you are ready to look back, you can look back and see the beauty of what once was a messy road. It will not be a road of pain and restless nights this time. It will be a road of breakthroughs. It will not be a picture of weakness and fragility but a picture of a braver and stronger version of yourself. Your tears will be tears of joyfulness. All your whys from the healing journey will be answered by that time. If not, I am confident your heart will be settled and renewed.
I also want to remind you that there is a power in God’s love. You might not feel at this time because of hurt, but I can assure you that His love is immeasurable. Higher than the mountains and deeper than the oceans. His love will never fail. He will continuously pursue you in the messy days and the good days. Do not doubt His love. It is real. It is authentic. It is majestic.
LORD, your faithful love reaches to the sky. Your faithfulness is as high as the clouds. Your goodness is higher than the highest mountains. Your fairness is deeper than the deepest ocean. LORD, you protect people and animals. Nothing is more precious than your loving kindness. All people can find protection close to you. They get strength from all the good things in your house. You let them drink from your wonderful river. Psalms 36:5-8 ERV
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. 1 corinthians 13:13
Learn to blend in the rhythm of life. It goes up and down, but do not forget to stay still. Hold on until you see a breakthrough.
God is faithful and gracious. Your scar will be healed and sealed with God’s love in His perfect timing. Continue to hope in love. In times of heaviness, where hope is not visible, trust Him. Meditate His love day and night. Believe that His love is true. One day, you will see everything hidden underneath that pain and hopelessness. Everything good is hidden underneath in the rugged and bumpy road. There is always a beauty that will surprise you at the right time. He is not done with you yet. You are one of a kind. You are a masterpiece. You are a work in progress. You are not late or too early. You are just right on time. Savour every good and messy part. Learn every bit of it. Learn to blend in the rhythm of life. It goes up and down, but do not forget to stay still. Hold on until you see a breakthrough.
I want you to recall all those moments when God saved you from past trauma, hurt, anger, bitterness, pain, and pain of depression. Do you believe that He can do it again this time? I hope you answered yes because it is true that God can do it again. He will save you again and again and again. Even if you fall and struggle a million times, God also has a million reasons not to give up on you. He will surely make a way to save and rescue your dying heart. He will never get tired of carrying you and pursuing you.
One day, you will laugh as hard as you can. There is no permanent pain in this world. It will all turn into waves of laughter. Laughter that will soothe your soul. A wave of joyfulness will soon touch your aching soul.
REMEMBER:
Soon..🍃
- You will hear satisfied waves of laughter again.
- You will see yourself smiling again.
- Your heart will beat again.
- He is the lover of your soul—healer of your scar. There is an undeniable comfort in His arms.
- Feel the pain, but do not live in pain.
- You can be angry, but do not live in anger.
- God is not done with you.
🌸🩷
Darling, healing is so beautiful. You have to experience it for yourself. There is an intimate affection that will satisfy your soul and bring you genuine and pure joy that will help you flourish in time. I pray to God that He will renew your heart and soul. I am praying that you will see the beauty of the unknown. God is sustaining you from that most profound need of your heart.
Pray this:
God, help me see myself the way you look at me and let me recognize your voice whenever you want to tell me something. Allow me to be joyful in the field of loneliness. Bring that joy in my heart whenever I feel sad and broken. Heal my heart and my soul. Satisfy my soul. Remind me of your goodness and love. Hold my heart in this season. I want to cling to your promises. Please help me to remember everything you told me. Be with me. Give me faith to believe and trust your word. Help me surrender everything to you. Help me empty my vase so you can fill it with your love and mercy. Please show me your goodness in the little details of my life. Please show me how wonderful life is. Please help me process the things I need to process and expose those parts of me where I need to see. Strengthen me as I go through these unfamiliar roads. Help me grow despite what I feel. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Love,
Charisse👸🏻
